A syllabus of sorts, Sheeple. Listen up (or is it read up?) and pay particular note. Let me adumbrate the brutal reality of what’s contained herein.
- A Lynn Samuels eulogium. She died Christmas Eve. She was a talk radio titan because she did and said what she pleased. She listened to no one and had the guts, temerity, intrepidity and elephantine balls to be different from the usual cookie cutter, echo chamber mindless robots that inhabit the medium. John Mainelli, WABC PD par excellence, empowered her. And she pissed people off and royally. Her voice made Edith Bunker sound like Margaret Thatcher. But it didn’t matter. She was unique, cool, sui generis, nonpareil and a royal pain in the ass. Her kind is absent from an atrophied talk radio spectrum. Just listen to the bilge that passes for talk today. It’s horrific. But that’s emblematic of our country in many respects: few choices and lousy ones at that.
- Why talk radio sucks. This is simple. Because it just does. Through radio consolidation, deregulation, hedge fund programers, name your poison, it’s absolutely beyond Gawd awful. For Chrissakes, how much Rush and Hannity can the nation take on a daily basis? Do you mean to tell me that this is what talk radio’s devolved into? Two identical guys saying the identical same thing simultaneously with Hannity following along in his rote recitation of Rushspeak. And Hannity, bless his heart, is truly a helluva nice guy and the luckiest guy ever. Ever! To follow O’Reilly and Rush?! Think about it. Wow. These guys have the political sophistication of Romper Room. They’re arguing 80′s era Reagan fetish politics. Do they know the cold war’s over? Do they understand the threat of globalism? They’re anachronistic vestiges of a moribund talk world.
- WABC in the glory days. Whether you ever heard it or not, it doesn’t matter. Everybody in radio today who hopes to exploit whatever’s left of it should take heed. It’s a new world and new frontier. And the dashboard titans better get their heads out of their arses and pay attention. Alternative media, podcasting and the like will eat your lunch. But the only way you can get away from this and escape it is to get real good and quick at what you’ve already got.
- Scents sense. Weird churches and smells and olfactory power. Look, bear with me, Sparky. There’s an intellectual exercise to be had here. So trust me and listen.
- My conversational style. Like you’re in the hospital and I’m visiting you. This isn’t broadcasting. Herein, let me explain my direction and tone. Once people get it, it’ll be stolen on a heartbeat, so listen here first.
- Phrontistery and your logophobia. I will not apologize to monosyllabic simpletons who eschew “fancy words.” I simply will not. Words are the colors of our language palette and if you want to glorify the mush-mouthed hick-centric world that the mobs adore, you go right ahead. I’ll be here. Laughing, er, cachinnating.
- Ron Paul gets slimed again. And the pathetic professional left and right, those simple-minded bastards will do everything and anything to keep Dr. Paul from changing the course of my beloved country, stand by like barking seals with nary a clue. They actually believe that their skewed vision of the world makes sense. Amazing. They’ll drill into sheeple the idea that he’s nuts, too old or crazy. And nothing infuriates me more next to a ferocious case of the clap. That being said, the worldview of Ron Paul could save this country. But he won’t be allowed to get anywhere near the White House. Because he would destroy the structure that will destroy us. So laugh all you want.
Finally, I’d like to leave you with something. Do with it what you please. A paean to Dr. Paul. Spread the word.